You could call it frustration...

This year has been a rough one. For some reason, things are just not going as smoothly I expected or, as they did last year. I've yet to figure out the reason for this. It may be that our schedule is a bit different and causes many rushed afternoons trying to fit in my entire science lesson. It may be that my class NEVER STOPS TALKING! I'm leaning more towards my second option.

My class is so talkative, I feel like I'm just begging them to stop talking every day. I had sit down talks with them about the effects of their talking. I've expressed my concerns and frustrations to them. I've moved their desks around every way possible. I've tried the overly nice thing. I've tried being Mrs. Viola Swamp. I've done what I know to do to beg them for their consideration and to stop talking. Nothing has worked. At the end of each day, I'm left with a sense of failure. I feel like I've failed in teaching that day's lessons. I feel like I didn't do anything but ask for them to stop talking.

This semester I have an intern and she was doing a science lesson on Thursday. During this time, I was able to sit back and watch my class differently than I usually did. I was able to see my intern "beg" for them to stop talking and repeat things many times over for all the students to hear. What I saw was embarrassing. When the lesson was over, I got up and explained to them that the way she felt was the same way I feel at the end of every day, which is unacceptable. And the worst part, her supervisor was observing the lesson. Not only did that reflect poorly on her, but I felt it reflecting poorly on me because that showed my classroom management skills, or lack thereof. I don't feel I have poor classroom management skills, especially with my past classes as proof.

I've somehow got to get over this. We are only 11 weeks into school. It's way too soon for me to start feeling like I don't want to go back and summer should begin soon. When I return on Monday, each student is going to receive a note from me. On the note will be all the things I like about them and all the things they do well. Because when it came down to it, I do like each student, as an individual. But when I think of them as a class, all I think about is their obnoxious talking. Hopefully this works...

This Is It!

Don't worry, I'm not ending my blog, but just making a reference to Michael Jackson with the title. I've had classes in the past who enjoyed certain celebrities and fads that were going through the 9 and 10 year old community, but nothing to this extent.

I have a student (or 4) that are obsessed with Michael Jackson. They sing his songs all day, they dance when they get the chance, they write about him during writing time, they check out the few library books we have about him, and much more!

Now let me elaborate: I hear, "Billie Jean is not my lover" throughout the day along with "Beat it, just beat it". Along with these lyrics, I also get to enjoy the classic Michael Jackson dance moves that aren't always appropriate for 4th graders. I understand the lyrics aren't either, but I'm not sure that 99% of the kids even understand them. I am pretty sure they just like singing the songs. Now here's the best part. One of these kids that has an obsession with the King of Pop is a pretty good imitator. He knows the dance moves, he knows the songs, and he has a silver glove. He's so much like a junior Michael Jackson, that the kids would spend their recess pretending he was the man himself. One of his friends was his manager who would schedule his place on the playground by minute. Another friend was his publicist who would try to find more kids who wanted him to dance for them. And the rest of his friends acted as body guards and felt they had to encircle him everywhere he went. At one point, they even had fake money they carried around and charged for people to talk to him. It was funny...until he was so wealthy that it was raining money on the playground. At that point, I was the rich one after I confiscated all the fake dinero!

One final question...Did these kids even know who Michael Jackson was before he died?

This is Legit!

I know I haven't written much this year. I mean, I know I haven't written at all this year, but I've been inspired to write again because of events last week.

It's that time of year when we learn the phases of the moon. For such an odd topic that is unnecessary to know, it is one of my favorite topics to teach. I guess it's one of my favorites because we do lots of fun stuff, including a lesson with Oreos. I've decided that this lesson is very unnecessary, but loads of fun and the kids love it. The Basics: Place 8 Oreos in a circle and scrape the cream in the center off to illustrate the 8 phases of the lunar cycle. It has to be a favorite lesson with my class each year. I was even receiving, "You are the best teacher EVER!" comments because of this lesson. I also got my personal favorite, "This is the most legit thing I've ever done in school!" I paused for a second thinking one of my good friends had taken over the body of a 4th grader. I am familiar with hearing the word "legit" come from her...not a 9 year old!

OCD anyone?

If you ask my friends or family, there are some things that I am a bit OCD about. I like pictures hanging straight. I like straight lines and things in rows. I like when groups of things match and there aren't any odd pieces out. I like that everything has a home and is organized. I don't work well when things aren't like this. I usually have to fix them before I think about anything else. Well...I have a student who is similar, but more extreme than myself.

This student, Dustin*, is a bit OCD. I don't say that in a diagnosed sort of way, but in the same way that I am, just worse. Dustin is the type of student who has to have things just right. He is unable to work at his desk (or anywhere) if there is something there that doesn't belong. For example, last week I put a paper on his desk that needed to be finished from the day before. I wrote on it, "Please Complete!" We began our morning math and I see Dustin walking around the classroom.

Me: "Dustin, where are you going?"

D: "I need to put this away."

Me: "Okay." (not thinking about the paper he is carrying)

Later in the day, I'm looking through the grading bin to see what I can work on and I find the paper that I had put on Dustin's desk earlier in the day. However, it still wasn't complete. I return it to Dustin's desk for the second time that day. As we began another lesson, Dustin is clearing his desk of all unnecessary items and he finds the paper. He seems not sure of what to do with it again and since everything needs a place, he turns it in to the grading bin AGAIN, still incomplete. Now I've figured out that he didn't like it on his desk because that's not what he was supposed to be working on. This time, I did not immediately return it to his desk. I saved it until I had time to talk to him about how to finish this paper. This time he put it in his folder which had it's own place inside his desk. In fact, his desk is the most perfectly organized 4th grade desk I've ever seen! Everything has its place and no work can be done until that is done.

Dustin is also a student I sit with very close at writing time. Here are a few comments from him:

- "That /g/ looks a little dark. I need to fix it."

- "That /s/ looks to big. I need to fix it."

- "I skipped too much space there. Let me go back."

- "Why did I write that /f/ so small?"

If we ever get through a writing composition, at least it will all be the same shade of lead, the same size, and with the same amount of space in between each word.

A little difficulty...

I have a student who has difficulty writing. He doesn't like doing it. It stresses him out and gives him lots of anxiety. This is hard, especially in 4th grade when we will have to take the Writing TAKS the first week in March. We don't have time to worry about how to actually write the words on the page, we only have time to worry about the thoughts that will be written on the page.

Well, I guess I'm making time this year, because this student is unable to write without lots of guidance and positive reinforcement. Luckily, I have lots of experience in positive reinforcement. I had a couple of kids last year who needed positive reinforcement more than they needed water to survive. The same goes for this year.

So last week we were working on our first composition of the year. For students who hate writing, this is a bit of a struggle. I sat next to one particular child each day during writing time so that we would have something to show from Writers' Workshop. Let's call this child Alexander. During Writers' Workshop, we were writing about our three most favorite possessions in our lives. He knew what his were and why. At least he knew what he should write. Now, actually putting the pencil to paper was another story. Needless to say, with lots of coaching and positive reinforcement, he wrote a few sentences each about each of his favorite things. This was lots of progress from where he had been the previous year or even the previous week. Skip forward to Back to School Night...

Alexander's mom approached me and asked how things had been going. I mentioned that things are difficult, but with positive reinforcement, we don't nearly have as many difficulties. I also told her that I just keep encouraging his writing and sure enough, he's getting it done. I explained that I had a child in the same position last year who shut down when I asked, "Why isn't your work finished yet?" But when I said, "Come on, you have a few more minutes to finish your work and I know you can do it," he came alive, finished the work, and even had a smile on his face when it was over. At this point, I could see tears forming in Alexander's mother's eyes. She was so happy that I was encouraging him and progress was being made.

Although it takes almost all of my energy to be next to him during every activity in which writing is involved, it is worth it. It's worth it to see Alexander happier at the end of the day and also for his mother to know that yes, this is something that he can will be able to overcome.

Have you filled a bucket lately?

During the first week of school, I read this book to my class. To summarize, you make other people happy (and "fill their bucket") when you are happy. If you smile at someone, you are filling your bucket and theirs at the same time. When you do a good deed for someone, both of your buckets are being filled. And if you are bullying someone, you are not only emptying their bucket, but also your own too.

My class really enjoyed this book. I know this because they still talk about filling people's buckets. Some kids have connected to it more than other though...take David for example. He is the student from my previous blog who had lots of behavior problems last year. Well, he is one who comes to me on a daily basis and says, "Ms. L, can I fill your bucket?" and gives me a hug. He is very thoughtful. In fact, he was absent one day, so he gave me two hugs to make up for an empty bucket from him the day before. He is turning out to be an amazing little boy who just needed someone to fill his bucket with compliments for all the good choices he is making.

A "NEW" Kid

First off...I feel bad for not blogging from the start of the year. It's not that there has been a shortage of blog topics, it's more like there has been a shortage of motivation to log on and type the stories up.

Okay...We all know that when we get our rosters before school starts, all the teachers from the grade level below yours come see where their kids from last year are. They also tend to share information about those kids. Hopefully, they know the rule that you should only share good information. Kids are unable to start fresh each year when the old teacher tells the new teacher all the problems they had. Well, I didn't actually get "bad" information about a kid on this day. The timing in which I received the bad information for two children was after school had already started and I had already gotten to know the kids.

I met one of my students at Meet the Teacher Night. The parents were insistent that I stay on his back and not let him get away with anything. I told them not to worry, that I would do what I needed to to make it a successful year. The parents still weren't sure I would stay on top of his behavior. When it was time to look through cumulative folders to get testing information from the previous year, I stumbled across a bit of information that helped me understand how much I really needed to monitor his behavior. Let's just say that he had spent some time in a special school for behavior problems. Now, I am still unsure of his exact actions that got him to the school, but it doesn't really matter because he is doing very well in my class. Yes, he likes to talk, but he doesn't talk back (to me), and we're working on how cooperatively he works with others. I will say that I've had much worse and do have much worse behavior problems than him.

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The second little boy won my heart the first week of school. He is so sweet, kind, and helpful. I didn't suspect anything out of the ordinary about this one, until we had a meeting about him. I was asked the question,

"So, how is David* doing in class?"

Me: "He is doing great! He's very helpful to his classmates; he participates all the time; he's turning in his work; and I just love having him in class."

- "WHAT?????"

Me: "Why that reaction?"

- "Because that's very different than his behavior last year. He missed lots of school, didn't make good choices, and was not doing very all around."

Me: "Really, I would never have guessed that based on what I've seen so far this year."

- "Wow! It's only been a week and you've already changed him. That's impressive! I've got goose bumps on my arms because that makes me so happy to hear."

Me: "Well, I didn't do anything different."

When you hear things like this about kids it just makes you so happy...and so much more appreciative of the way they are making good choices, being friends to their peers, and being so respectful of you. And because I found out how he was last year, I continue to remind him how proud of him I am that he has decided to make good choices and how much I enjoy having him in class.

Singing a different tune...

These past 6 days with kids have been a bit stressful. For the most part I like my class. For the most part! I have a few issues with how things are going so far...
- The kids don't seem to care if they please me, which is usually a characteristic of a 4th grader.
- The kids won't stop talking.
- The kids are unable to listen to directions and follow them. I spend most of my day walking around to check that they have followed my directions and if they haven't, I nag them!
- They are very low in math.
- They don't participate in class. I ask questions and all I hear is crickets (and no, they are not a part of a science project).
- I don't feel the same way at this point this year as I did at the same point last year. I wanted to be sure of this, so I read the blogs I wrote during this same point last year and they sound very different than how I feel right now.

I am worn out! These kids are wearing me out. I know that I should be worn out, considering I'm getting back into the routine of teaching all day and answering 1,000 plus questions each day. BUT...I shouldn't be this tired and feel this behind. We have been unable to get through all of our work each day. I feel this is because of their inability to follow directions and attentively listen to ANYTHING!

I sure hope these feelings change, because this year will seem 10 times as long if they don't!

My blog has been compromised!

The last blog entry was posted by a hacker. If you know me and also the person mentioned in that blog, you will know that I would never make such a comment. I am currently investigating this matter and will prosecute. My detective is one of the parents in my class this year. She seems tough. I wouldn't want to mess with her...I'm just saying this to the guilty party!

A little reminder...

Tonight I saw the movie "Julie & Julia". I thought it was a super cute movie. While it probably inspired many to either cook or blog or do both, it reminded me to start blogging AGAIN! I have really enjoyed blogging in the past and hope that I have written funny stories with enough voice for you to understand the hilarity I deal with, but also the heart-warming stories that remind me why I am a teacher.

School hasn't quite started yet, but we're getting there. Staff Development begins Monday, but I have already been visiting my classroom to get things set up. Even though this will only be my second beginning of the year, I am already full aware that this whole staff development thing is whack. Yes, I just used the word whack! Why not give us more time to work with our team and plan out what we will teach all year and how long and how we plan on teaching certain topics. But no...now, some of the staff developments are worth-while, but give so many ideas so close to the beginning of the year, it's impossible to implement when you're worrying about how you are going to structure the first (and most important) days of the year.

I'm very excited and worried about the year that will begin in less than 2 weeks. I'm excited because it will break the monotony of my current summer status: doing absolutely nothing! I do love working on my tan, but it's awfully hot outside, which makes it difficult to sit outside for very long. Yes, being in the pool is a good option, but even that gets boring. The worried part comes from my concern about what children I will get. I consider my class last year to be almost perfect in classroom dynamic terms. All of their behavior was very manageable and we were able to talk about any problems that were happening in the classroom. They were caring of each other and would do anything for me. I'm also a bit worried because in terms of academics, they were pretty level. Many of them made amazing growth throughout the year and I was very happy with our testing results! Even if I thought about hoping for another class exactly like last year's, I would be disappointed. With that said, I hope for a class that is understanding, patient, and willing to learn as much has 4th grade has to offer!

I don't want to go!

Last Friday was Victor's last day...the only problem was that he didn't know. I found out on Tuesday from his mom that Friday would be his last day due to a family situation and him needing to go out of town and spend time with his grandparents. Missing the last 7 days of school was not a concern. Victor passed all of his TAKS tests and had done very well this year!

I couldn't allow him to leave for the summer without some sort of mini-celebration for him. After all, we will have one on the last day of school for the entire class. I bought him his own cupcake, made his end of the year present early, and told the kids so that we everyone would be sure to send him off to summer positively.

The afternoon was ticking by. I knew that I would eventually have to tell Victor that today was his last day at school for the year. 2:15 finally arrived. Ms. H, another teacher and myself called Victor over to my desk. If I remember correctly, this is a little how the conversation went:

Me: "Victor...
Teacher 1: "Victor, well...
Me: "Victor...well...today...is...your last day at school for the summer."
Victor: "WHAT?!?!"
Me: "You are going on vacation with your grandparents tomorrow."
Victor: "I DON'T WANT TO GO! I'M NOT GOING! NO!!!!!"
Me: "It's not a choice."
Victor: "WHO TOLD YOU THIS?"
Me: "Your mom."
Victor: "WHY? I don't want to go. I need to stay at school and learn more. I have more to learn. I can't miss school. I can't go. I don't want to go." (begins pacing around the room)
Me: "Victor, can you tell me how you are feeling?"
Victor: "I...I...I am...I am feeling...upset!"
Me: "Why are you feeling upset?"
Victor: "Because I don't want to go. I have more to learn."
Me: "Victor...you have my permission to go. You passed all of your TAKS tests and you have learned everything you need to in 4th grade. You passed 4th grade with flying colors and you deserve to start your vacation early."
Victor: "But other kids don't miss the end of the year. Is _____ going to be here the rest of the year?"
Me: "_____ will be on vacation this summer. Lots of kids go on vacation this summer. (speaking to the class) "Raise your hand if you are going on vacation this summer."
Class: (every child raises their hand)
Me: "See, it will be okay...everyone goes on vacation."
Victor: (goes around asking kids how long they will be on vacation and if they will miss any school and still pacing the classroom and beginning to accept the reality that this is his last day...or last afternoon in the classroom)

IN THE MEANTIME...the entire class is being ridiculous. By ridiculous, I mean that they are in tears. 75% of the class has tears rolling down their faces. I don't understand this because it's not like this was Victor's last day at our school forever and most of them will see him again next year. In fact, there were kids crying that didn't even seem to be very good friends with Victor this year. Now, this class was amazingly supportive of Victor at all times, but there is a difference between being friends with him and helping him in the classroom when he needed. I was glad that they all cared enough for Victor that they would miss him over the summer, but I felt that only a few kids really had the right to be so dramatic. I had kids rolling on the floor crying, others crying audibly anytime we looked over, and others with Kleenexes wet with tears. FOR REAL??

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The classroom has been quite a bit different since Victor's last day on Friday. Mainly that we are in the last 5 days of school and report cards have been verified. I can honestly say that having Victor in my class taught me so much. I loved that little boy and miss him. The growth he showed this year was impressive...so much so that everyone in the school has noticed. Knowing that a child can grow that much in one year gives me hope for every student in my class now and in the future.

Look...A SQUIRREL!

Everyday is interesting in my class and today's field trip was no different. We were off to see the Symphony of Austin. I'll skip through all the boring stuff and get to the "interesting" part of the trip that took place at Zilker Park when we went for lunch.

You should all be aware of Richard by now...
Richard: "Look, a squirrel!" (and he began chasing it)
Ms. H: "Richard, STOP CHASING THE SQUIRREL! Would you like if someone suddenly yelled, 'Look, a Richard!' and started chasing you?!?!"

Ms. H and I took some kids to the "outhouse" at Zilker because they were in desperate need of the bathroom, until they saw it...it was a circular structure that had a hut-type roof that didn't cover the entire opening. I did not go in myself because of the shrilling that the kids did when they went in...
"Ewwwww! My mom wouldn't let me go in there!"
"There are banana peels on the ground!"
"There's a potato on the ground too...it's just laying there!"
"Where's the hand sanitizer????????"
"I'd rather use a bush!"

It's a bright, sunshining day!

If you've been reading my blog since around this time last year, you would know that the title was quite different. In fact, the whole tone of the blog was quite different. Things weren't good. TAKS scores had come in and I was very disappointed with my class last year. I didn't know how to react. It was my first year teaching and I hadn't even taught the entire year. I had mixed emotions, that yes, they were my class and those were the result, but I also didn't feel responsibility for those results seeing as how I only became their teacher halfway through the year.

Anyway...this year was different. I needed to prove myself, and prove myself is what I did. This day has been one of the best teaching days ever. Receiving the good scores was a high moment, but telling the kids how well they did made me feel even better. One kid after another,

Me: "How do you think you did?"

Kid: "I think I did okay."

Me: "Do you think you passed all three tests?"

Kid: "I think so." (This is when I usually tell them the results, unless it's one of those kids with a sense of humor that I like to tease.)

Me: "Are you sure? You are 100% sure that you passed the writing, math, AND reading test?"

Kid: "Well, I hope so. I don't know now."

Me: "So which one do you think you failed?"

Kid: (says a test)

Me: "Well, I'm sorry to tell you...that you are wrong. You passed (or were commended)!"

Kid Responses: a smile forms...tears formed in one child's eyes...sometimes squeals accompany the smile...jumping up and down...heads back to the classroom to share their excitement and happiness and success

I felt like the TAKS Santa today. I only had to give bad news to two kids and that was very difficult, because those students have worked incredibly hard and improved tremendously this year. The good news that I gave to 20 students over shadowed those 2. This doesn't mean I don't care about those, because I almost wanted to cry when I had to tell one of them. It was disappointing and we are all trying to figure out how it happened.

I need to go and start planning the pizza party and baking a cake that I promised would happen if 90% of them passed...the price to pay when they do well...I think I will manage!

The tingle in her arms...

During School:
"Ms. L, we need Ms. H to come fix our maps. They are pulled out to far and she's the only one that can fix them."

After School:
Me: "Ms. H, can you please fix our maps. The kids requested that you do it because you are a professional."
Ms. H: "I don't know if I can, the maps are pulled out way too far!"
Me: "My kids are relying on you!"
Ms. H: "I'll try."
Me: "Come on, you can do better than that."
Ms. H: "I feel a tingle in my arms. I'm sure it will work this time....WAAAAAAALLLLLLAAAAA!"

And what do you know? Ms. H saved the day again with her skills specifically designed to release maps and overhead screens after they've been pulled out too far for any normal person to fix.

The "I Don't Understand" Kid

I have a student who I like to call the "I Don't Understand" kid. I know there are many more of these out there. Let me explain. These are examples of typical conversations with the "I Don't Understand" kid.

Me: "Please follow along as I explain the directions."
IDUK: "But I don't understand."
Me: "Please listen to the directions before you start saying that you don't understand."

Me: "When we are working on a multiplication problem, we first need to multiply up."
IDUK: "But I don't understand."
Me: "Please watch as I do it before you start saying that you don't understand."

Me: "I need everyone to have their paper out and follow along with us as _____ works through the problem on the board."
IDUK: "But I don't understand."
Me: "Please follow along with their work and tell me which part you don't understand."

Me: "I need everyone to pull out their writing spiral and continue working on the piece you started yesterday."
IDUK: "I don't know what to write."
Me: "We talked about this yesterday and started our pieces yesterday. What did you work on yesterday?"

I have plenty more examples, but I think you all understand which kid in your class or past classes this may be.

Richard, Richard, Richard!

Richard: "Ms. L, can I go spit phlegm out?"

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Me: "Richard, what planet do you live on?"
Brandy: "Planet Twice."
Me: "What?"
Brandy: "Planet Twice because he always asks everything twice."

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Me: "Connor, have you been visiting Richard?"
Karen: "That's mean!"
Me: "How do you think that's mean?"
Karen: "Cause you say Richard lives on Planet Twice."
Me: "I didn't say that, Brandy did!"
Karen: "But that's still mean to Connor."
Me: "Connor, I asked if you were visiting Richard because you haven't been 'in class' today."
Karen: "I knew it!"
Richard: "I heard my name!"
Me: "Yes, I asked Connor if he was visiting you on another planet earlier. Do you remember that Brandy said you live on Planet Twice?"
Richard: "Huh?"
Me: "Brandy said you live on Planet Twice because you ask everything twice. Isn't that true?"
Richard: "I don't know."
Me: "Don't you ask everything twice? Cause you forget a lot?"
Richard: "Oh yeah I do!"
Me: "See, that's what we were talking about."
Richard: "hahaha, okay!"

What did you say?

True story borrowed from my portable-mate and told from her perspective:

So I was working at my desk and I hear the word testicles. I look over and of course it's coming from the same student who's said "he went to take a dump" and the same one who chuckles anytime he hears the word "balls". Oh and the kid who laughs out loud every time he passes gas?! That's him too. So I hear the word testicles and I listen in for a few seconds just to see how this word was brought up.

Here's what was said "Testicles. Is that what you said? Dude, do you know what that means? Testicles are..." I immediately call this student over before he can do anymore damage. He knows right away why he's being called over and starts to apologize before I even have a chance to say anything. I told him that if he didn't understand the other student then he should ask what he said instead of assuming that he said a word that is inappropriate in school. He nods and I tell him to go back and ask what the other student said. He goes back, asks, and the other student has no idea what he's talking about. They continue to work without testicle conversation. Success? I think so.

Thanks for the great story, Ms. H!!!!

Eat!

Victor: "How many calories is someone supposed to eat in a day?"
Me: "You should eat at least 5,000." (Keep in mind that I once called this boy toothpicks because of his skinny little legs.)
Victor: "But will I be overweight if I eat that much?"
Me: "You? No way! Me? I'd be overweight by lunch."
Victor: "Will you be overweight if you eat that much for a long time?"
Me: "You, no. You would take a long time to catch up. You need to keep eating."
Victor: "What if I drink 5 Boosts a day? Will I be overweight then?"
Me: "Don't worry about it. You will not become overweight."

That's not how you do it!

The music teacher was speaking to me last week about an upcoming field trip. He felt the need to snap his fingers all over the place with attitude while explaining something to me. Karen was eaves dropping and said, "Mr. C, that's not how you do it. It's 1! 2! 3!" As she snapped her fingers like you see in the movies when girls are "snapping" at each other.

No he didn't!

Jasmine: Do you still like Chris Brown?
Karen: "Yeah! Have you seen him, he's cute!"
Jasmine: "Didn't you hear? He beat up Rhianna?"
Karen: "Nah-uh! Rhianna just put make-up on!"
Jasmine: "Yeah, he hit her with an umbrella!"
Karen: "Under my umbrella, ella, ella, a..."