I broke her!

I'll start with the good news. This is part of an e-mail that I received from a parent today. To be specific, it was from Elliot's father. If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I've had lots of trouble with Elliot's behavior. He's had emotional and angry outbursts, and often gets mad because I'm reminding him to work. Things have changed in the last few weeks and the message from his father confirms it. This message is referring to writing camp.

"Loved the Hobo stick. Interesting camping ideas.
Seems to have captivated his imagination and attention.
Keep up the good work. I heard him tell me that he LIKES the writing homework where he corrects sentences. Wow!!!"

This makes me feel good and know that all the hokey camp things we are doing this week are really changing attitudes about writing.
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On the other hand, today I passed back the compositions that were written yesterday. On the back of each composition, I wrote a compliment for their writing and something they need to work on, along with a score based on the TAKS rubric. Like I said yesterday, all but one kid passed. The one who didn't pass was an unusual case. I was very surprised to read her writing and knew that it wasn't reflective of her as a writer.

So I passed back the compositions and almost immediately, tears began flowing. I knew that she was very upset with her score. I tried talking to her about it and she said, "But I did stay on topic." I had to tell her that I was sorry and unfortunately the organization and intended meaning wasn't conveyed in her writing.

Off we went to lunch and recess and I was hoping she would begin to understand and get over the disappointment. I was wrong. She cried all afternoon. She didn't write a single word on a paper all afternoon. She used a whole box of Kleenex to dry her tears. Great...just what I need 4 days before TAKS...a kid shutting down who is capable and usually proves her excellence. What in the world was I going to do to help her get through this roadblock and begin writing again?!?!?

The wonderful teacher that I am took her outside for a heart-to-heart. We sat next to each other and talked about her fantastic writing in the past and what I knew she could do in the future. In fact, she's going to write at home tonight about whatever she wants and we're going to meet tomorrow to talk about the great things she did in that writing. She seemed okay with this idea. It is a non-stressful environment in which she can write anything and we'll boost her confidence again tomorrow by talking about the highlights of the writing. I've got Plan B and Plan C in store if this doesn't work out. I'll keep you updated on how this goes and if anyone has any suggestions, please let me know...I need to fix her!

Lesson Learned: Never give a score point 1 back to a child. Lie about it and claim it's a barely 2 or just pretend you forgot to score it and talk to them about it later.

I'm so proud!

On day two of writing camp, all but one kid in my class finished their first composition. I was hopeful. This is the second to last practice composition before the real thing next week. We've learned so much about writing and come so far in our writing abilities. I've been worried in the past because they have learned so much and when we took a writing benchmark, they forgot everything!

When I read the compositions today, I smiled. I had no other response, but pure happiness. I read some great papers. I had kids write like they've never written before in a wonderfully fabulous way. According to my grading scale, I had all but one kid pass. And the one kid was unusual. She misinterpreted the prompt and just went in the wrong direction. Her normal writing is well above passing. In all other cases, I was glowing with excitement and telling everyone I could what a wonderful job my class was doing on their writing.

The biggest highlight of today was reading one of my student's composition. When I read the composition, I couldn't stop smiling. My response when I was finished was, "WOW!" I've not felt that very often. I have often described a 4 on the TAKS Writing as reading a paper that gets a "WOW!" when you're finished. It's also a paper that you are unable to find a place for revisions. This was how I felt. I did not have any kids in my class score a 4 last year, so that is my goal this year. When the thought of a kid writing a 4 came into my mind, it reminded me why I do this. I reminded me that I have taught them these writing skills. Most of them came to me with little to no personal narrative writing experience, and to see how much they've grown amazes me.

Today made me excited for next Tuesday. I'll still be terrified come Tuesday at 8am because I don't want them to throw all of their writing strategies out the window. I'll keep my fingers crossed and give as many reminders about what I expect as possible in the next three days.

Please stop singing!

To start off writing camp each day, we meet around the "pond" and "fire" in the middle of the classroom to sing our two writing camp songs. Today we started with "Write and Shine" sung to the tune of "Rise and Shine" (the church song). We attempted to sing the song and it was terrible. When the song was over, all I heard was...

"Ms. L, you ruined that. You shouldn't sing with us."
"Can we sing it without you next time?"
"You aren't singing the right tune."
"You just need to listen to us sing."

If you know me well, or at all, one thing you do know is that my class couldn't have been more right. I was ruining the song. When I allowed them to sing without me, the song was beautiful. They did tell me that I was allowed to do the rap song to the tune of "Ice, Ice Baby". The exact words: "Ms. L, you're allowed to rap because you're not bad, but you just can't sing with us."

If I were a teacher who didn't already know what a terrible singer I am or another person listening to my class tell a teacher this, I would be very upset. However, I am not that person. I like the fact that my kids know they can tell me that I shouldn't sing and know I won't get upset because I know it's true. The know that a comment like this is not crossing the line, but others not related to my singing might be. :)

Meet Your Match

William has met his match. In the past couple weeks, another cry baby has been developing her skills. Jessica is my newest student who joined us in early January. At first, I was so excited to have her. She fit right in was seemed to be up in her academics. I was thankful that I received this student instead of one like the many I received near the end of last year. Well...the honeymoon was soon over.

Jessica is a very emotional student. She often gets upset and cries because I ask her to try and solve problems on her own and also because I ask her to wait in line and take turns with everyone else. She gets upset easily, puts her head down on her desk, and gets teary-eyed. She gives me puppy dog eyes so that I'll see her and feel sorry for her and I don't. She is in fourth grade and needs to learn a little independence, responsibility, and patience.

For example, last week we were in the science lab doing a hands-on measurement assessment. There were stations set up that were only meant for one child at a time. I had the students who were not at stations sit at a table and work on other questions on their assessment that the equipment was not needed. I told Jessica to go to a station to start off with. In this particular stations, students were expected to measure a box and find it's area and perimeter. Keep in mind that this is an assessment and also that Jessica was not in our school when we first did measurement.
Jessica: "Ms. L, I don't know what to do."
Me: "What is it that you don't know what to do?"
J: "That."
Me: "What specifically is 'that'?"
J: "Find the area and perimeter."
Me: "Well, I know you learned that at your last school. You had to have. And I also know that you should have learned it in 3rd grade. I need you to really think about it and try to figure it out." (Jessica is starting to get very frustrated that I won't tell her how to solve the problem.)

Me: "Jessica, can you go sit at the table while you try to solve that problem. I need to let other friends use that station." (She moved aside without a problem, but still looking very upset because I wouldn't give her the answer.)

A few minutes later..."I need you, you, you, and you to go to those stations. I know you all haven't been to any station yet."
Jessica: "I haven't either."
Me: "You have been to one station, they haven't been to any."
J: "I haven't been to them either."
Me: "I need you to show patience and I will let you go to the next open station."
J: (starts tearing up because she's not getting to go to a station, even though she's already been to one and other kids haven't been to any)
Me: "Jessica, you may sit over here until you are ready to come back and work without being upset."
J: (full blown crying is taking place and I'm confused as to why there are so many tears)
Me: "Jessica, when you are ready, you may join us again. But you may not join us with your tears."

Come on now! I know I was a bit of a drama queen as a child, but do I really deserve having to put up with all these drama queens and kings?

SHOCKED!

I wavered on whether or not to write this blog...it's based a topic that can be private to most people, but because of the way it was brought up to me, it lost all privacy.

While we were standing in line getting lunches, Kristy walked up to me...
K: (fairly loud voice that all students can here) "Ms. L, when was the first time you got your period?"
Me: "Hmmmm, what? Uhhhhhhh. Well.... Hmmmmmmm...Uhhhhhhhhh. Well, why do you ask?"
K: "Because my stomach has been hurting a lot."
Me: "Where does it hurt?"
K: "Up here."
Me: "You're fine. Go eat lunch!"
K: "Okay, I was just wondering cause my sister got her's."
Me: "Go eat your lunch!!!!!"

Writing Camp Day 1

It was Day 1 of Writing Camp and what a fabulous day it was. The room was decked out with vines, a mosquito net tent, and cut out animals and bugs.. The kids were stoked. I made t-shirts and provided snacks and my aide bought some camp goodies...personalized water bottles, hobo sticks, pencils, and bugs to go in their snacks.

The kids were so excited about what this week is going to bring. The writing was the least of their concerns. But as the day went on, the writing progressed well. The editing practice in the morning was fabulous and the beginning of their compositions are promising. I am hopeful for what the rest of the week brings. Maybe I'll post some compositions as the week progresses.

Deciduous, Deciduous, Deciduous

Last week I was teaching a guided reading lesson. I was doing some vocabulary building in a book about ecosystems. Usually Victor isn't in my room during guided reading, but he was on that day because of schedule changes. Because of that, he was included in my group.

As I was introducing the vocabulary words, the group was doing great. Then we came to the word deciduous. None of the kids knew how to say it. We broke the word apart and talked about what combinations we knew. We finally got it! Then Victor began chanting it, "Deciduous! Deciduous! Deciduous! Deciduous! Deciduous!" It was quite funny. He wouldn't stop chanting it. I asked him to stop many times before he actually did. In the mean time...

William began reading. He normally struggles with fluency even with more simple words/content. He came to a sentence that talked about a tree being deciduous. He didn't hesitate or stumble. I paused to congratulate him on how he read over the word without any struggle. He smiled and was proud of himself as well. I asked, "William, how did you know how to say that word without pausing to break it apart?" He replied, "Well, Victor said it enough times that I just remembered it."

Secret Admirer

On Day 1 of Kiss-o-Grams, a message was sent to a student in my class from "Anonymous". It's been tearing this girl apart trying to figure out who it is. She has been asking on a daily basis for hints, but I refuse to tell. If the boy wants her to know, he can tell her. I refuse to spill the secret. I also refuse to give any clues as to the person's identity.

On his side of things, he came to me today and asked for my "love" advice.
Richard: "Ms. L, I don't know what to do about this whole Claire thing."
Me: "Well, you can either tell her that you sent it because you're a good friend or you can just leave it as a secret."
Richard: "I don't know what to do."
Me: "You're going to have to make this decision by yourself."

Happy Valentine's Day!

It was the day I've been dreading for a week or so now. It was one of the day's allowed by the state for us to celebrate with all the sweets we could ever dream of. My class celebrated with ice cream sundaes and cupcakes that I made. Before the party could ever begin, we also had to take care of the last day of our 4th grade fundraiser.

It was Day 5 of Kiss-o-Gram sales. We ran out of kisses yesterday after we finished selling for the day and again today about 1 hour into sales. A parent had to run to the store and get more, and it turned out to be the perfect amount. Last year it amazed me, and again this year I was amazed. The funds raised were ridiculous! How we made so much money on Hershey kisses being sold for 10 cents each is amazing. We had kids buying $20 worth of kisses. I wanted to inform those kids that they could go to the store and buy multiple bags for $20, on the other hand, we wanted them to spend however much they wanted on kisses. Every grade level is jealous of how much money we make with this fundraiser, which is why we will never pass this one to another grade level, regardless of how crazy it can get throughout the week.

The ice cream party went well and I didn't realize how much kids like sprinkles. When I eat a sundae, I'm concerned about having whip cream and a cherry. These kids wanted ice cream, whip cream and tons of sprinkles. They all enjoyed the sundaes and got their sugar fills. This was also a fairly easy party seeing as that there weren't that many choices and it was easy to clean up. I'll definitely continue this party idea next Valentine's.

Please do not spread that rumor!

I was trying to get a few kids on track today, and as usual, Victor was one of them. When I went over to help him, he asked, "Ms. L, are you getting married?" This is a question I have answered many times before...and so the conversation continued...
Victor: "Who are you marrying?"
Lauren: (walks up) "You never know, she may marry a superstar!"
Victor: "You are getting married?"
Me: "No. But when I do, it may be to a superstar."
Other members of the class: "Ms. L, you are getting married?!?!?!?!"
Me: "I am not getting married. And I am not marrying a superstar...at this point in time."
Other kids that are just now catching on (basically the entire class): "You're getting married?"
Me: "No, please don't spread that rumor. I am NOT getting married."
Everyone: "Ms. Leining is going to marry a superstar!"
Me: "Not quite yet. Get back to work...all of you!"

Tests Can Kiss My Butt!

I was having a pretty good day. I spent the afternoon with the other fourth grade teachers and some instructional coaches rating some writing compositions. This was a great opportunity to let us share writing and have an outsider rate our kiddos. (It gets hard to rate your own class honestly after they've been writing and progressing all year in front of you.)

The scores weren't a surprise. I knew who still needed work and who was doing very well. A highlight of today was that each person who wrote a score, also gave a teaching point and a positive point about the composition. This is something that I will start on immediately. Well, all was satisfactory until...

I returned to my classroom to check my e-mail only to find our results from the TAKS practice test we took 2 weeks ago. Whenever we get these scores back, my whole day is ruined. The scores are rarely good. Our fourth graders don't do very well on these tests. I don't know what it is. I boggles my mind every time the results come in. I try to reflect on what I've done/not done and wonder what I am doing wrong. I feel like I'm doing a good job. I see my kiddos growing, emotionally and intellectually. I see them relating what they've learned to real-world concepts weeks after they were first taught.

How can a stupid test make me feel like such a crappy teacher? I know I do a good job. I of course know there are things I could do better, but this is still a learning process for me. However, I'm not the only one with the low scores, it's all of fourth grade.

The constant tests reminds me why I resented standardized testing when I was in school. Now I also realize how my kids feel. I, in no way, teach "to the test", but try to teach the concepts that they will need to know for the test in a hands-on, multiple learning experiences, "Best Practices" manner, but apparently that isn't working.

I'm stumped and frustrated to no end! I can't wait for the repercussions of the low scores on this test. Hmmm...where to go from here?!?!?!

And how did that happen?

In science, we are working on research projects. Each ecosystem we are studying, each child has a specific thing they have to research and create a presentation for. Last week, almost every kid made a PowerPoint presentation and I saved them on our school's shared folder. This is where my kids would save any future presentations as well.

(Please remember that all anecdotes were not recorded and I can't always remember wording exactly.)
As kids were working on their presentations today, a few of the kids were working on the laptops. William came over, "Ms. L., there is no ecosystems folder."
Me: "Hmmm. It was there yesterday. Let me log off and see if it shows up when we log back on."
William: "I tried that."
Me: "Let me check on my log in name."
William: (waiting patiently, not saying a word)
Me: (walking across the room and saying semi-loudly) "I still can't find the folder. I don't know what happened to it."
Randall: (walks up to me) "I think William and I accidentally deleted it."
Me: "Accidentally deleted it? How does that happen?"
Randall: "I was trying to help him and we were clicking around and then it was gone."
Me: "Well, the only way it would disappear is if you clicked on it and then pressed the delete button and then clicked okay that it would be deleted forever."
Randall: "We didn't mean to."
Me: "I understand that, I just don't understand how it could have even happened."
William: "I didn't do it!!!!!!!"
Me: "Well, that's not what I heard and I'm very upset now. All the work that your friends did last week on their presentations is now GONE! Everything they had done is gone. They all worked so hard on their presentations."
William: "I didn't mean to!!!!!!" (began crying hysterically and covering his head with his hoodie)
Juan: "It's okay William. We know you didn't mean to. We won't be mad at you." (and he continued on with some other kind words that I could not have even pulled out of my mouth)
Me: (walked away for a while and then called William over on our walk to specials) "Please come here, I would like to talk to you." (this was after I had to order him into line with us, he thought he could just sit angrily at his desk instead of going to specials)
William: "WHAT?!" (said as a yell and with a grunt)
Me: "Excuse me? Is that a respectful way to answer?"
William: (while giving me mean looks) "I am mad that Randall helped me and I didn't even want his help and he's the one who deleted it."
Me: "Okay. I understand that. I will talk to Randall as well. For right now, we can't do anything about what happened. I am upset, but there is nothing I can do about it. So we will have to just get over and go to specials."
William: (grunts)
Me: "I also need you to speak respectfully. It doesn't matter how mad you are at your friend or me, but it is never appropriate to be disrespectful to a teacher. Do you understand that?"
William: "NO!"
Me: "I need to know what you do not understand. What I just said is that speaking to me the way you JUST did is not okay and will not be tolerated." (I realized how far in front of us the class is...) "Let's walk just a little faster, the class is really far ahead."
William: (sprints forward to catch up to the class while I am asking him in a calm voice to please stop so we can continue talking)
Me: "Please stop. I need to talk to you and it's not okay to not follow directions."
William: (ignoring me)
Me: "William! Not following directions will get you consequences." (still ignoring me, I slowly catch up to him) "Not following directions and being disrespectful has earned you lunch detention. Do you understand?"
William: "YES!!" (said with a yell and a grunt)
Me: "And being disrespectful again will 'earn' you recess. Disrespect is not tolerated in this class." (earn as in lose; and I walked away)

WOW!!!! I can't believe all of this was because he and his friend somehow deleted our file. I was very upset and there might have been smoke coming from my head, but what I was more upset about was how William was dealing with it. I was also feeling upset for the other kids and remember the time they had spent working on those projects. I was able to forget about it and try to figure it out later, but he was not. He was holding a grudge and resented me for asking him how it happened and placing some of the blame on him.

On the other hand, at the beginning of social studies, I noticed a note on my desk. It was from Randall. He apologized for doing whatever he did to cause the file to be deleted and said that he would spend every drop of his recess trying to figure out how to recover the file. It felt very sincere and I appreciated the thought he took to write the note on his own.

Again, I reminded both Randall and William that I was not as upset about the file being deleted but about the way William handled the aftermath. This was not how a fourth grader should respond, but if you've read previous blogs, you've found out that this is how William responds to most of his problems.

Am I qualified for this?

As I was getting my class settled in this morning, in walks a teacher-like person. You all know that I have an educational aide for one of my students, so I looked and thought, "Oh, she's absent today. I guess that's her sub." And then I remembered that she was not absent, I had already seen her that morning. Then who was she? I walked over and introduced myself. I glanced up at her name tag to see TSU under her name.

This is what is seen on the name tags of interns at our school. My portable mate and I had talked about shared an intern. This was the plan because we are both fairly new teachers and figured the intern could learn from both of us and neither of us wanted all of the responsibility. We decided to take on an intern at all because we realize what a great education program we went through and would like to share that with other soon-to-be teachers, because the program that these interns are in isn't quite up to par with what she and I did.

I was still a bit taken aback that I was in charge of an intern. I have been teaching for a whole year and almost two months...wow! It's my turn to offer teaching tips to a teacher wannabe. Believe me, I have no problem sharing what I know and even having others help me learn, but I find it surprising that this program would even consider giving a first year teacher an intern. I know that I will do everything I can to give her chances to learn with my kiddos and hopefully give her a fraction of the quality of internship that I had!

And she seems very nice and ready to offer another set of hands and ears to my kiddos. I'll keep you updated.

I just want to be like everyone else!

You all know Victor! Today there was a debate going on with Victor and his aide. I overheard from across the classroom. I was listening closely because this is something that has been ongoing. Last week he was able to walk in the usual bus line because I was in charge of it. This week is another teacher and we cannot put the responsibility of taking him on another teacher, especially when they are not used to him.

Victor: "I just want to be like everyone else!!!!!!"
Mrs. H: "I'm sorry. You still have to walk with me to the bus line."
V: "I don't want to. I want to walk in the line with all the other kids. I want to be like the rest of them!!!!"
H: "I know, but until you show me that you are responsible enough to walk straight to the bus while you're with me, I cannot let you walk in that line alone."
V: (almost breaking down in tears) "I just want to walk with them and be like everyone else!"

I always seem to make my kiddos cry, but this was a time that one of them almost made me cry.