Excuses, Excuses, and more Excuses!

As a teacher, I understand that I will hear many excuses in my career and today, I heard more in one day that I usually do. By the time I finished collecting homework, I heard 6 different excuses for why they couldn't turn it in...only one of which was actually legitimate (and not listed below).
--"My mom went to the hospital last night and my backpack was in her truck." (I've heard this one before.)
--"I did it, but forgot it at home." (How do I know you really did it then?)
--"I forgot it in my desk when I left yesterday." (Well???? How are you supposed to do it then?)
--"I didn't know we had homework." (I only announced it 20 times and passed it out to each person individually.)
--"I only did some of it. I had other things to do." (Remember we're learning responsibility by finishing and bringing back your homework????)

I have also already heard many excuses for children's behavior when talking to their parents...now I know where the kids get is from.
--"I'm out of town right now and he always acts like this when I'm gone. I'll also be out of town next week for a few days." ARE YOU KIDDING ME? She's out of town like 3 days EVERY week!
--"He told me he's being made fun of and I think his behavior is stemming from that." (I have not heard him being made fun of or anything close.)
--"His schedule was altered this week because we have family visiting. He acts like this every time his routine is messed up." (Learn to deal with it! Life is not always routine.)
--"I'm divorced and when she spends time with her mother, her family thinks its funny to act like that. When she's with them, she thinks that how you are supposed to act. I've tried, but can't do anything about it. That's why we aren't married anymore."

I've only been teaching for a few months...after one year, I imagine I could have an entire book of excuses!